Happiness Is Yours For The Taking

annie-spratt-143537.jpg

So, I know circumstances play a huge role in our lives and that most times those circumstances are beyond our control. I didn't have a choice in being my grandmother's caretaker at 21, my choices didn't revolve around whether or not I showed up at the hospital and sat through hard conversations with ICU doctors. Those were things I did because doing was needed. 

The trying things in life aren't for the taking, they're mostly always imposed. The good things though? Those aren't thrust upon you with the force that life takes the breath out of you on hard days. Those moments don't bring you to your knees, physically reminding you that you are a single person whose will can't move mountains. Those good moments, they're quiet and, if you let them, humbling and if you ignore them, bound to sit there and collect dust. 

They speak to the inner parts of you that wished on shooting stars you never saw because in a city growing up with stars is always in the abstract. You know what stars are because you learned their shapes in school, you learned their constellations in textbooks. Do you know that if you move past city lines there is a sky full of stars? That when you're near the Florida-Georgia line and you see a full sky of stars for the first time it'll make it hard to breath because no dictionary definition could have come close to how tiny you feel among so much light.

Yes, life pours cement on our shoulders the older we get. On good days, it'll cascade down our back and leave a trail that creates foundation and brands it as ours. It's made up of memories that help us create ground floors, and first floors, and floors that will eventually give us a garden on the rooftop. On trying days, that cement stays on our shoulders, forming blocks that make it harder to walk up cylinder stairs. 

That's what's for the taking. 

There are tools to rid yourself of those blocks. 

They don't come easy and they don't come free, but they are yours for the taking. 

I sit in therapy once a week to turn those same cement blocks into the foundation that'll hold up my next, happier floor. And I'm learning to take because the more I take the good, the more the bad on my shoulders gets to heavy to carry. It's surrender wrapped in happiness. It's understanding wrapped in sympathy. It's a promise to give myself a better tomorrow wrapped in a present day that makes me yearn for more good days. 

Happiness is yours for the taking, the more you acknowledge the bad and decide to try to let go of it.