Sunday, Rallying Words Vol 3
There’s an email chain in my inbox from an author I emailed a month or two before my grandma died. My initial email to him was a one off thank you for a piece he had written that had ultimately given me a bit of a push to start Too Damn Young. My intention was never to become pen pals, but we did.
In one of the back and forth emails he told me that he commended me for reaching out as a way to find healing from within. At some point during our emails, my grandmother had passed. He knew the pain I was feeling, I wasn’t a stranger to the feeling either because I’d been there - 10 years before.
His words weighed heavily then and they still do now. Whenever the world gets especially hard to live in there's the Mr. Roger’s quote that always makes its rounds around the internet. The one that tells you to look for the helpers because they’re there in times of need.
I think heartbreak - of any kind, magnitude, or breadth - begs for companionship and understanding. It begs for a hand to hold, even if the hand doesn’t know what comes next either. I don’t think that in hard moments we look for answers, for as much as that is the narrative that is pushed.
It’s hard to search for resolution when so often in the darkest of moments we’re not even sure what the question is.
Las Vegas, hurts. To read about it, hurts. To wake up on Monday morning and have my boyfriend tell me that I should stay off Twitter because he knows how it’ll affect me, that hurts.
To not be able to write about rallying words until now because it was hard to find any words at all, that hurts.
Which is why I think the author’s email has been on my mind and why I keep on thinking about the ways that reaching out for Tyler’s hand always calms me. Sitting and trying to find the answer in our own minds for some of the world’s most tragic moments isn’t doable. Reaching out as a way to rebuild trust in humanity and good faith is.