Sunday, Rallying Words Vol. 1
I got home on Thursday night and plopped myself on the bed. I let him hold me and I tried to let the ton of bricks that had been sitting on my shoulders all day just slide off. I had a deep understanding that they were still going to be on the same bed, but at least they wouldn't be on me.
So I melted.
I melted into his arms. Then, I breathed deep, closed my eyes and melted into the whisper of his voice. He told me stories of who I am, who he sees me as, who he knows me to be.
He did for me what I couldn't do for myself on Thursday night and that's okay. It's okay to let someone else hold you up after 12 hours of an uphill battle. It's okay to let yourself be held and to smile when he says to smile because you both know you're faking it, but maybe that's okay too.
Maybe for a little bit you need to fake it so that in the long-run you're on the path to happier.
I'm wired to self-heal. I have a clear definition of self-care and usually it just involves me. There's a list of things I do when I have a bad day with anxiety, but here's what that list doesn't tell you — that the days afterwards when the initial anxiety has worn off, I'm still not myself but I'm also not in it enough to notice.
The people around me do though. They notice how quiet I am, how much harder it is for me to engage or react how I usually would.
They make up the difference in our relationships on days when it's harder for me because on days when it's harder for them, it's what I do.
So that's what this week is about — let others do for you what you so often do for them.
Don't wait until you've had bad days to start forming the habit of giving into other people's love for you. Do it now. Ask them to love you in a way that's unique to you and then return the favor by doing it for someone else.
Let yourself be taken care of because it's a habit that both heals chipped hearts and creates a protective barrier around a heart that will likely have one or two bad days.
Let yourself melt into a hug or a string of words that speaks to who you are.
You're worth it.